Take note: one of my ideal weekend getaways involves watching baseball and watching people. This is the ideal “two birds with one stone scenario” as I often spend the majority of my time at a baseball park watching people rather than the professional athletic display in front of me. (Describing some of the viewed teams as both “professional” and “athletic” is generous when compared to the actual product.)  Any opportunity to visit a more populated area immediately creates the chance to observe my fellow humans, mentally remark at their perceived choices, and wonder about their drives. Human behavior is fascinating and predictable through the presence of coincidence and habit, but there is also a level of terrifying uncertainty knowing that at any moment, an individual’s free will could buck trends and steer that particular human down an unforeseen path. The uncertainty hangs at the edge of the precipice separating expectation and chaos. You never truly know what someone is going to do. While I am simply amused, I seldom give such reverence to people-watching while in the moment. This is not a post about dissecting human behavior. It is a post about enjoying simplicity and taking in the world with someone special.

THE girlfriend and I made a weekend adventure of visiting the Minneapolis metropolitan area with stops at Target Field, IKEA, and the Mall of America. I actually popped my IKEA cherry and made a few unplanned purchases to give the experience legitimacy. Any home furnishing store that will will serve me meatballs and mashed potatoes immediately receives a rave review. My animal instincts wanted to tell my girlfriend, “Leave me in the food court and shop to your heart’s content. I’m going to eat Sweden’s GDP in meatballs.” Thankfully, more intelligent thoughts prevailed and I viewed every KVORP (made up, maybe?) and VLAAB (ditto) I could. My biggest complaint, however, is about the sheer size of the place. I was definitely chafed from all the walking. Regardless, it was certainly an experience. My hot take on the whole thing: the store is exhausting and I do not have enough interior style awareness to know what makes sense. 3 out of 5, would spend money there again.

IKEA was stop number two on the trip. Stop number one was Target Field and getting to watch my beloved Minnesota Twins play the role of wet noodle. The game itself was lackluster, but the stadium sitting in the heart of downtown Minneapolis is exquisite. Plus, there was beer which enhances any experience. I don’t know what it is about a ballpark that make me want to gorge on hot dogs and pretzels. It must be part of the experience as baseball is built on a mountain of home runs and concessions. People mill about the concourse moving from vendor to vendor or simply doing laps around the park. In the stands, parents corral their children while young men become increasingly vocal as the innings and their alcohol consumption increase, their girlfriends splitting time between selfies, texting, and genuine interest in the game. I will never get tired of going to games. Baseball may not always be exciting, but it can be pretty.

The last major destination was the Mall of America. I have been a fan since Arnie chased that bouncy ball for a Turbo Man in Jingle All the Way. If you want to watch sharks, you go to Australia. If you want to watch people, you go to the Mall of America. There are three levels bursting with every type of personality, ethnicity, and dream. Restaurants and food courts pump out inviting aromas which mix with that particular smell generated by thousands of people milling about indoors. It’s not a bad smell, it is a familiar odor that invites you to be carefree and explore the trappings of capitalism. It is glorious and exactly where I wanted to be at that moment…until my girlfriend absolutely annihilated me at mini-golf. The humbling experience reinforced that I do not accept losing well. Yet, as soon as I stepped off the course I remembered I was supposed to be having fun, and my stomach was growling badly enough, finding sustenance kicked me into autopilot. In the end, how can you not enjoy a place populated by a crayon wall, Lego, and an amusement park?

Trips like this aren’t extravagant. There was no pristine white sand beach or exotic food sampled under the tropical sun. No, it was a weekend spent with a special someone in a favorite midwestern locale doing whatever we wanted. It was perfect, and it helped maintain our sanity when Monday bulldozed it’s way back to relevance. Thank you, Minneapolis. Twins, get better. Criminy.