Here’s a fun word for you: urbane. 

Merriam-Webster defines urbane as “notably polite or polished in manner”. I’ve also seen the words “suave” and “sophisticated” used as defining benchmarks. That really makes “urbane” a life goal, doesn’t it? My mother raised me to be annoyingly polite, which, in this me-first world, doesn’t necessarily do ME any favors with a you-first attitude. I could also certainly stand to be more polished in manner. It’s still COVID out there, however, so I’ve got time to work on that as I slowly turn into Gollum in my house cave guarding my precious Netflix and tater tots.

Being suave and sophisticated sound the most fun overall, like James Bond maxing out his urbanity. Unfortunately, those are significant mountains to climb. Suave, I am not, as I can make any conversation feel awkward and will often hold eye contact a moment too long or not long enough. Oh, and the eye contact doesn’t have to come only when we’re conversing, so I guess that would actually be staring. Sophisticated? I grew up on a public education and went to a public university. Without the personal refinement built on the back of boat shoes, pastel polos, and private school pretension, I at least still have my soul. There is enough sophistication already present that I will not purposely embarrass others or myself in public. Overall, there is a lot of potential and some work in progress.

What else about the word urbane? It’s a popular restaurant name and the perfect place to go to let the world know you’re urbane. Even though it’s probably for show, we won’t tell. Lastly, can something or someone actually be called “urbane” without cheapening the definition? Self-labeling or marketing as such feels like a no-no. One being urbane must be an understood state of existence earned through appropriate displays of behavior. To let the world know, however, a third party could pass out the lauded title of “urbane”, and that feels okay – 

Observer 1: “Wow, that guy has a real urbane sense about him.”
Observer 2: “By jove, you’re absolutely right!”