Saturday Morning Cinema – House of Wax (2005)

About a 5-minute read

Wax on. Wax off. Paris Hilton. Pre-“Sammy” Padalecki. Serial Siamese Twins. A mid-aughts horror delicacy.

When you think of 2005’s House of Wax, do you think of Paris Hilton? I do. It’s easy to dismiss the movie because of her presence, not that anything she did or did not do in the movie warrants a negative perception, but in the early to mid-aughts, Hilton seemed to be riding a wave of pop culture notoriety thanks to her name, her TV show, and — ahem — other acting credits. Her presence in House of Wax could have had the movie discarded as more shallow slasher-film fodder. It’s true there are generic elements to House of Wax and that Hilton’s acting chops are absent next to the other established cast members, but the movie itself is entertaining enough to make classic tropes and Paris’ role reflective capsules of the time, of a generation, rather than important for the film’s success.

Now that we’ve addressed the heiress in the room, let’s dig into my experience with the final installment of my Halloween viewing. The 2005 House of Wax is not the first House of Wax. I’ve never seen the 1953 version starring Vincent Price and am, therefore, unable to make comparisons or speak to the quality, so keep that in mind. This post is wholly focused on the tittilating entry starring Elisha Cuthbert, Chad Michael Murray, Jared Padalecki, and, of course, Paris Hilton. Objectively, that’s a solid lineup of what was then up-and-coming screen talent, aside from the previously discussed Hilton. Twenty years later (typed as I slowly turn to dust), we can see how individual career trajectories tracked, but encapsulated in time by this particular cinematic moment, we’ve got the makings of a cast that would at least make you sit up and say, “Go on…”. This is a cast that makes you think this movie could be fun. It’s going to be sexy. It’s going to bring a youthful energy to the screen that grabs your attention and provides a wild ride. And you know what, yeah, it does that. I never want to watch this movie with an ounce of skepticism whether I’ll enjoy it or not. It’s not A24 or Blumhouse. I know what to expect and am all in. Wax me up, and let’s do the thing.

I may need to cool down a bit, but you know what doesn’t? This movie. From the start, House of Wax hints at the villain(s) as we’re introduced to two children, from their perspective. One is docile, just going about eating their breakfast. The other is almost feral to the point the father has to wrestle them into a high chair and secure them in place with duct tape. As you’re wondering, “What’s their story,” the movie cuts to our gang of soon-to-be wayward travelers making a pit stop on their road trip to the “biggest game of the year” as the Deftones’ Minerva fills the soundtrack with a crunchy edge, letting the viewer know they’ve leapt forward in time to the glossy pop-collared hotness of the early 2000s. (I remember buying the CD with Minerva on it and further crumble to dust.) The group and character archetypes are quickly introduced through a series of brief interactions. There’s the Final Girl, the bad boy, the less serious jokester, the “hot” girl, and the group’s leader who also fulfills the trend of requisite black character. Through a series of unfortunate decisions and picking the worst place to camp, they find themselves where they don’t want to be where their youthful brashness runs them afoul of the wrong folks.

The “wrong turn” motif is an oft-used vehicle to set up a horror film’s action, but I don’t know that it ever really gets old. There’s a plethora of directions films can go from that point to inject original ideas or add some spice to traditional flavors. Taking the characters away from their expected circumstances taps into the uncertainty that keeps them, and the viewer, on uneven ground. It’s that feeling akin to constantly finding oneself in an unfamiliar location where you may not know the language, customs, or simply the location of anything to anchor to. This uneven ground destabilizes every decision, thought, and action, herding the group right into the villains’ web of increasingly disturbing discoveries. As expected, the villains enjoy the advantage of disorientation to effectively pick off their quarry until the heroes learn enough about their situation to formulate a plan to fight back and escape. Such a sequence is cliché, but this movie provides its payoff in the setting and the characters’ uncovering of the deeper story along the way.

While relatively light on jump scares — which is fine by me — House of Wax is heavy on the creep factor. The cover of night and a location passed over by civic development allow the antagonists to hunt in secrecy while the illusion of a populated town gives the protagonists hope that help is just around the corner. Pair the intensity of the cat-and-mouse life-and-death hunt with the inherent uncanniness of the lifelike wax sculptures scattered throughout town, and House of Wax delivers an entrée of delicious horror that deftly utilizes its cast and setting to create a tensely fun, if not occasionally snort-inducing, flick.

House of Wax feels like a sneakily good movie. At a glance, there’s nothing to indicate the movie won’t be another horror entry lost to time, and while it’s still admittedly light on substance, there’s enough consistent fun to overcome the film’s faults. Maybe I enjoy House of Wax because it transports me back to a time pre-iPhone, where the newborn millennium had already seen tragedy but still offered the promise of a bright future. The world was simpler, where Paris Hilton ruled over popular culture and young adults stumbling into the nightmarish snares of serial killers made for good horror. This movie is good if let it go through the motions and allow a little of that unexpected nostalgia to sweep you up. Thank you, House of Wax, for being my time machine and making my October a little more enjoyable.