Author: Cyrus Borzak

About a 13-minute read

Featured Image: 2584381633 (Ira.foto.2024)

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“Mr. Hammersmith, Mrs. Hammersmith, welcome to your new home!”

The realtor dangled the keys in front of the couple like shiny bait tempting a fish. Her smile caught the morning sun and reflected the blinding shine of artificial perfection. Mrs. Hammersmith stifled a laugh as she had always thought Harmony Evergreen to be one surgery away from becoming synthetic. Her tagline of “At Home With Harmony” was effectively catchy and made her ridiculously successful.

“You know, I’ve sold all the homes in this neighborhood at one point or another, and I just love being able to bring another fantastic family to this wonderful place.” Her expression shifted to disappointment, “I’m surprised your children didn’t join you. Even on a school day, taking over a new home is a big occasion!”

Mr. Hammersmith was still trying to regain his vision after being blinded by Harmony’s expensive smile. “We offered, but they wanted to go to school instead. I’m sure it’s because they want to get out of as much moving as possible. Jokes on them though – the moving truck doesn’t get here until four anyway.”

Harmony’s eyes flashed and her smile parted to loose an infectious laugh. “Well isn’t that delightful. Surprise!”

They all laughed, even if the Hammersmith’s were not entirely sure why. Harmony cut her smile abruptly and went back to business.

“Now, I know we’ve been through the house before, and I’m happy to just let you have your day, but if you want another walkthrough, I’m happy to do so. We’ll need to do it after lunch though so I can make another closing here coming up. Either way, I’m available at any time, just give my office a call if you need anything.”

Mr. Hammersmith did a quick visual check with his wife before answering, “No, I think we’re all good for right now. If the floor suddenly caves in, you’ll be hearing from us, but otherwise, I think we’re going to take a couple hours to plan out some of the room arrangements and enjoy the moment before the movers come.”

Harmony’s smile continued radiating, “Delightful. Well, I will check in with you tomorrow then. Okay, now, ta ta.”

Harmony gave a parting wave and carried her disorienting smile back down to the curb where she popped into her sleek white SUV and zoomed off to go blind other clients.

Thomas Hammersmith jingled the house keys, unlocked the front door, and he and Genevieve Hammersmith walked into their new home. The window blinds were all open, allowing natural light to flood the house. They walked from room to room in silence as they imagined how they would look filled with household goods, prized possessions, and the various knickknacks reflecting a life’s experience. A general positivity and happiness followed them – this was an exciting time for the Hammersmith family. Taking on the expense of a new home, especially one of such size and modern amenity, was a risk, but Thomas and Genevieve expected to be here until their final days. This was a house built to create and store memories.

Satisfied the house did not hold any new surprises, Genevieve felt compelled to be productive.

“I’m going to start labeling the kitchen cupboards so we don’t have to put too much thought into where things go.”

“I wouldn’t have thought to do that.”

Gennie gave a mischievous smile, “Which is why I’m doing it. Don’t worry, there’ll be plenty for you to take care of.”

He returned the smile, “Fair enough. I want to take a quick look in the garage and around the yard, make sure there aren’t any landscaping emergencies we’ll need to take care of right away.”

They did not buy the house for the yard, though it had a large front yard that set the home a desirable distance from the street, and a sprawling back yard that looked like it belonged on a golf course. Tom thought of the old push mower he used at their previous house and immediately moved “new riding mower” to the top of their upcoming planned expenses. He found a moment of zen thinking about a shiny new mower scooting back and forth across the sea of grass, creating crisp lanes of alternating green shades. Hearing another voice calling out broke his reverie.

“Hello there! Hey, neighbor!”

Tom turned to the source and saw a man sidling up to the fence separating their yards. He waved and met the man at the fence.

“Sorry, didn’t hear you right away. I was lost in imagining…”

“New mower, right?” The man gave a knowing laugh accompanied by a massive smile that was dimmer than Harmony’s but equal in size.

Tom gave a surprised chuckle, “Yeah, exactly.”

The man thumbed a finger back at his own yard, “First thing I bought too when we moved in. I took one look at that pasture and knew anything but the cushioned ride of the best mower money could buy would leave me sweating myself to a heart attack.”

“Yeah, what’d you go with?”

“We’ve been here a while, so I’ve upgraded a few times. Right now, I’m rocking a Dorado Double ‘X’ Zero ’T’ Three-Blade.”

“Wow, the Double ‘X’ with the triple blade, eh? That’s quite the machine.”

The man gave a proud smile, “Would’ve sprung for the Triple ‘X’, but then  I couldn’t have used it around the kids.” He burst into a hearty laugh that reflected he had made the joke before, maybe too many times.

“Oh, heh, wouldn’t want that!”

A single tear rolled down the man’s cheek as he calmed himself down, “Usually save that one for a few beers, so thanks for indulging me. Name’s Harlan Wilkes. Welcome to the neighborhood, neighbor.”

He extended his hand over the fence. Tom took it and returned a hearty shake. “Thomas Hammersmith, but I usually go by Tom. We’re thrilled to be here.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Tom. I was going to swing by later with the whole family, but when I saw you out here, I figured why not break the ice right away.”

“Glad you did. It’ll be nice to have someone who can show me the lay of the land, let me in on all the neighborhood do’s and don’ts.”

At this, a shadow briefly passed over Harlan’s face causing his smile momentarily to fade. As quickly as it disappeared, however, the smile returned.

“Hey, you don’t mind if we still stop over later, do you? My wife, Ivory, she’s going to want to meet you all and will be upset I already introduced myself.”

Tom noted the temporary change in Harlan’s demeanor but chose to ignore its cause, hoping he had not inadvertently done something to upset his new neighbor.

“Not at all! The kids will get back from school this afternoon, and we’ve got the movers coming at four, but stop over whenever is convenient. Just don’t expect us to be very good hosts yet.”

Harlan’s smile beamed big as ever, “Hey, tell you what, first dinner in the neighborhood is on us. Everyone in your house likes pizza, right?”

“Oh, that’s incredibly kind of you, but you don’t have to do that.”

“No, no. I know what it’s like moving into a new house. Wish someone had done that for me when we came here. I just hope won’t be imposing – don’t want to overwhelm you all on the first day.”

“Hey, if we don’t have to worry about a meal, impose away, but be warned, my kids can pack it away.”

Harlan’s smile broke with a laugh, “Noted. Well alright, neighbor, we’ll see you, say around seven?”

“Perfect.”

They shook hands again and Harlan headed back to his house. Thomas felt an energizing jolt from making a friend and looked around his domain with a pleased smile, thankful their new adventure was already off to a good start. With reinforced vigor for the work ahead, Tom clapped his hands and headed back inside to help Genevieve prepare for a busy afternoon.

The Wilkes arrived in a boisterous avalanche as Harlan led his brood through the door. Harlan, his wife, Ivory, and their kids, Annette, twins Oakley and Henderson, and baby Olive burst into the house bearing five large pizzas, three two-liter sodas, and enough breadsticks to build a small play fort. The Hammersmiths’ discombobulated home suddenly filled with the sound of laughter and excited chatter as the two families conducted hasty introductions and rushed to find common ground for sustained conversation. With the food laid out and Charlie and Sofia Hammersmith leading the group through the buffet line, Tom snuck off to the den to try locate a long-stashed bottle of whiskey, figuring christening the new home with new friends was the perfect reason to crack it open.

After most of the pizza was devoured, the kids found their hideaways to chat in private, and Gennie and Ivory departed with Olive for a house tour, Tom and Harlan stepped out onto the back deck into the comfortably cool night air.

Tom took a swig of his drink and let the sharp warmth of the whiskey slide its way down. “Lovely family you’ve got there, Harlan.”

“Cheers to that,” Harlan said as he clinked his glass off Tom’s before taking his own healthy pull. “Twenty years ago I would’ve shook my head at a guy like me, thinking I’ve thrown away the freedom of a perfect life. There are days, believe me, but now I can’t see it any way other than being lucky.”

“It’s weird, right? I feel the same way. At one point in my life, I would’ve thought being Joe Family Man is a terrible choice, but then it just clicked.”

Harlan nodded as he swirled the brown liquid in his glass. “This is good stuff.”

The subject change caught Tom off guard. “It was a gift for a promotion I got some years back. Was never much of a whiskey guy but wanted to try it. Is the burning normal?”

Harlan’s lips curled into a mischievous smile, “About the only time it is.”

Tom snorted and felt the burn flare into his nostrils, “Son of a…”

Harlan was laughing too hard to truly help, but he gave Tom a few hard pats on the back. “Shit, sorry.”

After Tom finally stopped coughing, he laughed himself. He wiped his teary eyes and rubbed his burning nose. When he looked up at Harlan, he saw the man’s joviality was gone, replaced by a mixed look of concern and seriousness.

“I love my family above everything else, Tom, and I’m sure you’d say the same about yours, so I need you to listen to me.”

Tom waited for the setup to a joke or the punchline to something he missed completely, but Harlan’s eyes searched for acknowledgement, “Okay, yeah, of course.”

“I saw you talking with Harmony earlier. She’s great at selling houses, but she leaves out some important details – very important details. Turns out, moving here is the worst mistake I’ve ever made.”

“What? Come on. Is that the whiskey talking or…”

“Just listen. I guarantee, in time, you’ll feel the same. These homes are gorgeous. The neighborhood is exquisite. This whole place is a dream. But, in a month you’ll be wanting to be anywhere else, and that’s where you’re screwed.”

“Okay, maybe we should put these glasses aside and call it a night.”

Harlan placed a hand on Tom’s shoulder, “Listen! I can’t begin to explain what this place is or what goes on here, but there are a few things you need to keep in mind and never forget. I just need you to believe, just for a moment, that I’m a completely sane person, the same Harlan you talked to earlier.”

“I believe you’re sane, but the direction of this conversation is raising some flags – I’m going to be honest.”

“Fine, fine. Harmony is going to show up here tomorrow morning saying she forgot to mention some of the neighborhood rules.”

“This isn’t an HOA, made sure of that. I triple checked and would never move into one of those.”

“No, it’s not an HOA. It’s something worse. So Harmony is going to show up tomorrow morning for a discussion around neighborhood rules. She’ll have a nice pamphlet and everything. You need to play very close attention to these rules and make sure you follow them to the letter.”

“Are the fines that bad? That can’t be legal, can it? We didn’t agree or sign into anything.”

“It has nothing to do with the law. The do’s and don’ts of the outside world don’t mean a damn thing here. For example, one of those rules is to keep your yard mowed. While that may sound pretty standard, the consequences are real bad.”

“What, my ass will be grass?” Tom thought the joke would easily crack Harlan’s hardening demeanor.

“This isn’t funny. I’m serious. You need to mow every week. Within every seven day period from the last time you mowed you need to mow again. You understand?”

“Okay, is this your way of making sure we don’t let this place go so your property value tanks?”

Harlan closed his eyes and released an exasperated sigh. “No, Tom. I follow the same procedure, as does the house on the other side. If we don’t, there are consequences.”

“Like what?”

“Why do you think this house hit the market? And so you know, since it’s been available, I’ve been pulling double duty, mowing this yard and mine.”

“That’s awfully nice of you. I wondered who was keeping the place looking so good. But what about the previous owners?”

“They didn’t follow the rules, and there were consequences.”

“Sounds like this place isn’t as inviting as advertised.”

“The people are great.”

“But?”

“I don’t want to say more right now. Meet with Harmony tomorrow. If you’ve got questions, which you should, we can talk more.”

“Harlan, you realize how weird this whole conversation is, right?”

“I know, and I’m sorry. We’ve all had one like it at some point. Just remember how much you love your family. Everything you do next will be to keep them safe.”

They stared at one another in a moment of silence. Tom had numerous questions but did not have any idea where to start.

Harlan broke the stalemate, “You’ve got a lovely family too. Thanks for the drink.”

They did not speak the rest of the evening. Tom floated around the house in confused rumination over the conversation on the deck as he followed Genevieve around and listened to her share family stories. He caught the occasional glance from Harlan, whose eyes said enough for Tom to keep his mouth shut. The families got along swimmingly otherwise, and after a couple hours of socializing, the Wilkes gathered their things and headed home. Genevieve could tell something ate at Thomas, but she also knew they were all tired from a busy day with plenty more on the horizon. Everyone shared brief “good nights”, and the Hammersmith’s first night in a new home pressed on.

To be continued…