Author: Cyrus Borzak
Featured Image: Shutterstock Standard License 383500849 (Valentin Agapov)
About a 37-minute read
Science lost. Society scoffed at repeatedly proven facts and the established practices promoting hygiene and education standards. The United States citizenry became mentally fractured from fear-mongering and addled by the inundation of misinformation. Literacy was replaced by machines’ ability to do one’s thinking utilizing the internet’s unlimited informational capacity. If the seeker did not like the presented options, they could simply refine their query to find a solution matching their beliefs, regardless of source and validity. Machines quickly learned to present options to satisfy their user rather than deliver anything of verifiable accuracy. Fictions became facts as purveyors of falsities strangled the life from the dwindling sources of truth.
With the United States in such a malleable state, those in power worked quickly to shape the country for their benefit. These actions created disastrous dependencies across many industries, the most detrimental being the complete privatization of healthcare and education. The absence of government funding eliminated access to these services for vast segments of the population. Within two years, large regions of the United States devolved into Petri dishes for diseases once thought to be eradicated and other new cocktails of unknown potency and effect.
After eight years of incompetent leadership eroding national stability and pride, the administration changed, campaigning to reestablish scientifically backed and proven strategies to extract the nation from the mire of its current dark age. Righting years of misdoings proved to be an excruciatingly slow process, and the most afflicted regions in the country continued degrading into septic wastelands of disease, violence, and misery. They became dangerous enough that the government isolated these areas from healthier territories.
Strong public sentiment against the perceived imprisonment of citizens in need, the government hesitated to fully patrol the isolation zone borders and did not fully restrict travel into the zones. Anyone choosing to enter these regions did so under great risk as even infections disease specialists spent limited time in the zones and only did so in full protective gear. Goodwill groups continuously sought entrance to the zones to aid the suffering populations ravaged by illness and the effects to infrastructure when swaths of the citizenry cannot work or are dead. Daycares sat vacant. Civil services such as waste disposal and emergency services ran behind or not at all. Each day, another home was marked for burning to eradicate whatever disease turned the home into a funeral pyre for those inside. Religious zealots fed off the pervasive confusion and fear, sowing deep discontent in preaching about end times and the darkness taking root in the land and people. Their words united feral groups who elevated their preachers to deity status. They roamed the isolation zones seeking new members or harassing those simply trying to survive. Outside the zones, holdovers from the prior, failed administration continued their hyperbole to blame anyone and anything other than themselves, and many continued believing their lies despite mountains of evidence to the contrary. The steady, logical guidance of those trying to lead society forward found themselves continually challenged and undermined by the very people they aimed to help.
Haven’s Outreach was a national nonprofit aid organization with charters in every state, with groups from isolation zone states conducting their efforts from outside the affected regions. The government tolerated Haven’s work since it provided relief and resources, though they continuously warned against repeated operations within the isolation zones. Haven’s members took precautions against potential infection, but it was not enough to do their work risk-free. Despite the repeated warnings and recommendation of utilizing professional-grade prophylactic gear, those carrying out Haven’s work believed they did what they could and God would handle the rest. They believed in putting action behind their thoughts and prayers. Someone had to physically go into the isolation zones and help those people, otherwise the well-meaning words of so many would only fall worthless upon a languishing population. Haven’s pious self-assessment, however, left their missionaries vulnerable. They believed in acting upon their words but placed faith’s promise of action above the directives of science. So strong was their belief God would protect them from harm, the missionaries trusted they did not need the full protections recommended and available to them, even though those same safeguards were developed by the skills and intelligence provided to humanity by, as the faithful believed, God.
Esther Covey just returned home from a two-week long mission in an area overrun with emerging and expanding cases of measles, polio, smallpox, hantavirus, plague, and a number of other horrible creations developed countries should no longer encounter. Years of indifference and negligence reopened the door for pestilence to sweep across the land. Here, the people could no longer help themselves. Raised in an upper middle-class home by loving parents, where she was the neighborhood darling and popular in school, Esther knew the world to reward positivity and good deeds. It was a world with simple solutions for milquetoast problems. Injustice was an unknown word, and human suffering did not exist. As Esther matured, she understood the world was not as shiny and clean as in her childhood, but she believed every wrong could be righted, where good deeds paved the road to success in life and paradise in the hereafter. Esther felt it her calling and privilege to use her youth and vitality to lift up the downtrodden.
She returned home two days earlier and quickly set about organizing her home life in anticipation of resuming her full routine of work, self-care, and volunteering. Esther fully intended to throw plenty of relaxing in the mix with the release of the next book in her favorite series, Winged Heart. Despite the ambitious plans for how to spend her weekend, Esther awoke feeling off. A slight scratchiness grated her throat, and a weightiness in her head was something She could only describe as being able to, “feel my brain.” The simplest explanation was exhaustion. Esther felt confident that after two weeks of giving every ounce of energy to help others, she probably needed more relaxing that expected. She changed her plans to run a few quick errands to purchase necessities and then Esther would return home, grab a nap, and then crack into her new book.
The first errand was purchasing personal products that Esther was surprised to find were running low, and while at the drugstore, maybe she could find something to alleviate her symptoms. After that, Esther knew of a little bodega near the drugstore where she could pick up enough food to supply her empty shelves through the weekend until she felt well enough to make a proper grocery run. As Esther left her apartment, she almost cursed the main aspect of city living she loved, being able to walk everywhere. Despite lacking energy and preferring to order a ride today, Esther could not justify it with the stores only a couple blocks away. With a grunt and whimper, Esther slung her bag over her shoulder and set off down the sidewalk.
The first errand was replenishing her supply of toothpaste, deodorant, and tampons that she was surprised to find were running low. While at the drugstore, maybe she could find something to alleviate her symptoms. After that, Esther knew of a little bodega near the drugstore where she could pick up enough food to get her through until she felt well enough to make a proper grocer run. As Esther left her apartment, she almost cursed the main aspect of city living she loved, being able to walk everywhere. Despite lacking energy and yearning to order a ride, she could not justify the unnecessary environmental impact with the stores only a couple blocks away. With a grunt and whimper, Esther slung her bag over her shoulder and set off down the sidewalk.
A refreshing steady breeze tempered the warm spring sun to create a comfortable day that helped make the walk less miserable, but Esther was still relieved to arrive at the drugstore’s frontage. She looked through the store’s window and felt thankful it was not busy; she did not feel like dealing with people today. Esther scolded herself for having such a dour attitude toward others who had nothing to do with her scratchy throat and pulsing headache. The headache was new, and Esther also noticed she felt sweaty everywhere. The walk should not have required that much effort, especially since it was not hot outside. She attributed the condition to feeling “off” today. Esther recognized her energy was waning and that she needed to quickly make her purchases so she could get back home. She thought of still needed to stop by the bodega, but that thought quickly dissipated as Esther resigned the weekend to being a “takeout weekend”. “Can I help you find something?” The woman’s soft voice startled Esther who had disappeared into her own thoughts.
“Um, no, sorry. I spaced for a second. Just came to pick up a few necessities.” Esther responded but felt as though she was not even seeing the woman. Her world was swimming.
“Dear, pardon me, but you look like you need to take a seat. If you tell me what you need, I’d be happy to gather the items and help you checkout.”
Esther intended to accept the woman’s help. In her head, Esther was relaying her list to the woman, but in reality, Esther said nothing, swaying slightly as her eyelids slowly drooped.
“Thomas! Thomas! We need help over here!”
There was a commotion and Esther felt soft hands grab her shoulders, but she felt nothing else. She was floating, sensing no movement of her arms or legs. The hands on her shoulders firmed but then they let go, just before Esther lost all connection with reality and collapsed to the floor.
There was a sliver of light. It appeared bright in the center and blurry at the edges. As her vision slowly regained focus, Esther felt a scratchiness all over her body. Her clothing felt of a foreign, generic texture that she never would have chosen to wear. Her hearing returned with a blitz of beeping and mechanical whooshes. There were voices as well, an unintelligible jumble at first that began separating to their individual sources and solidifying into coherence. Esther felt the surge of consciousness rush through her body. Her awareness progressed from blank emptiness to the fuzzy tickle of emerging from a dream to burgeoning lucidity. She felt pinpricks from her scalp to the tips of her toes as nerves that had operated in the shadows prepped her body for action. The sliver of light expanded as Esther opened her eyes for the first time in weeks, and blurry colors and shapes quickly crowded around.
“Honey! Oh, thank heavens! Hurry, Johnathan, get a nurse!”
A shape disappeared.
“Esther, babe, can you hear me?! Squeeze my hand if you can hear me! She squeezed! She squeezed! Oh, babe, I love you so much. I love you so much!”
“Thad, give her some space. She’s probably overwhelmed.”
It was overwhelming. Two shapes appeared.
“Esther, my name is Holly. I’m your nurse. You’re waking up from a long sleep, so your vision and other senses aren’t going to be feeling normal, but they’ll start to come around soon. First, I only need you to focus on my voice.”
Esther could not determine how much time passed listening to Holly’s voice and following her instructions. It was an arduous process of moving stiff joints, tracking movements from left to right, and answering if touches could be felt across her body. Eventually, Esther’s vision cleared enough that she could identify Holly’s face, some of her room’s features, and the outlines of the others in the room. She noticed her skin felt dry, an obvious consequence of neglecting her nighttime beauty routine, and her hair had a matted crunchiness to it. On top of everything, a distinctly human odor hung in the air around her.
After putting Esther through her diagnostic paces, Holly explained Esther collapsed in a store and was brought to the hospital by ambulance. That happened almost fifty days ago. Since then, Esther was in an induced coma while doctors combatted extreme fever, brain swelling, and uncontrollable motor function. Esther had no recollection of her collapse or the time leading to it, but she understood how lucky she was to be alive.
“I’m going to move around here measuring your vitals. Go ahead and spend some time talking to your family, and when I’m done, I’ll go get the doctor to come look you over and discuss where we’re going from here.”
Esther’s parents and her fiancé crowded around the hospital bed and leaned over her. They wore mixed expressions of concern, relief, and love. She knew their faces and felt the memories of their lives together dance around the periphery of her consciousness. A feeling of unease danced with the memories, weaving in and out of the images and feelings that form one’s existence. With a burst of clarity, Esther recognized the memories lacked vividness. They were faded with gaps that Esther could not overtly identify, but she could feel it. Her mother’s voice pulled her from troublesome thoughts.
“Honey, we are so grateful you’re awake. One of us was here with you every day. We just knew you’d come back to us, and we wanted to make sure you had a loving face to greet you when those beautiful eyes opened up.”
“Yeah, pumpkin, you know your dad’s not a crier, but I’ve never shed so many tears as I have the last two months. It’s an awful feeling being a father and being so powerless to help your little girl.”
“Esther, babe, my heart is at maximum right now I’m so happy. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, so I knew you’d be fine.”
Esther managed a smile. Even her face muscles were stiff, and her mouth and cheeks felt weak. She spoke but did not recognize the raspy whisper of a voice that came out, “Hi…guys. I don’t know…I don’t know what…happened. I remember coming back from my trip, but then it’s just blank. I love you all though. Mom, dad, you’re going to make me cry. And Thad, I wouldn’t be complete without you.”
Esther worried that maybe her tears dried up when her body shut down, so she could not cry even if she wanted to. Her response was based upon the fleeting memories racing through her mind. Esther knew her parents were sweet and would do anything for her whether she asked or not, and Thad, as her fiancé, Esther had to love him; that is what the memories said had been the way of things before she went to sleep, and there was no reason to change that now even if Esther could not discern if she felt like herself or someone different.
The conversation continued for another ten minutes. Esther was a bystander as her parents and Thad filled the time trying to catch her up on the past two months, which was fine with her. She did not feel like talking, nor did Esther have much to contribute seeing how the past two months were a void to her. Esther did not hear much of what was being said as her energy focused on grabbing specific memories to bring them back into focus and rebuild the fractured state of her mind. Eventually, Holly rescued her.
“Okay, everyone, even though Esther has been asleep, we need to let her focus on resting. This process can be overwhelming, so I’m afraid I need to kick you out for the night. Don’t worry, the doctor will speak with you here before you leave. And you, Sleeping Beauty, you stay right where you are.”
Esther forced a smile and said, “Don’t worry about me. I’ll see you guys tomorrow. Love you.”
The trio said their goodbyes, gave Esther a kiss, and hesitantly left the room followed by Holly. Esther closed her eyes and immediately felt exhaustion pull her into a hard sleep. Time obviously passed, but Esther knew only dreams; the first dreams she experienced in what felt like a lifetime. Esther had no way of knowing, however, that her dreams were unlike any she had had throughout her lifetime. Something had changed. The Esther from before was not the woman that awoke.
After a time, Holly entered Esther’s room with the doctor and lightly placed a hand on Esther’s arm to wake her up. This time, Esther woke without feeling like she was climbing into existence for the first time. Holly gave her a bright smile that complemented kind eyes. Behind her, the doctor appeared slightly older than Holly, but she shared an equally kind smile fit nicely on a face beginning to show the years of tireless dedication to her craft. Esther locked eyes with the doctor, drawn in by the shimmering pools of experience.
“Esther, hi, this is Doctor Reinhold. She’s been overseeing your care since you arrived. She’ll provide you with background of what happened to you and how we’re going to make sure you’re well enough to go home. I’ve got a couple other patients to check on, so I’ll swing by after the doc is done and see if we can get you something to eat.”
Esther nodded her understanding and appreciation before returning her attention to Doctor Reinhold.
“Hello Esther. As Holly said, I’m Doctor Reinhold, but please just refer to me as Meredith. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. We’ve spent so much time together already yet I’ve not had the opportunity to get to know you, so I’m hoping we can fix that.”
“Hi Meredith. It’s a pleasure to meet you too. Thank you for taking care of me.”
“No thanks are necessary. I’m just glad we got things turned around. You were in a bad spot.”
“That’s what it sounds like. I don’t remember much from before.”
“I’d expect as much. Your body, and your brain in particular needed to shut down to protect itself. Do you mind if I go over what we found when you came to the hospital?”
“Yes, please.”
“I understand you had recently returned from a service trip to an advisory region.”
“Yes, it was a two-week support mission.”
“Mmhmm. This is not me scolding, but you know, even for healthy individuals, right now those areas are incredibly dangerous. There are diseases and afflictions coming out of those places that the medical community is struggling to identify and treat.”
“We thought we took enough precautions. Are you saying I caught something?”
“Unfortunately, unless you’re in full hazmat gear following a strict decontamination protocol, you’re not taking enough precautions. Again, I’m not scolding or trying to make you feel bad. The work groups like yours does brings resources and hope to people who desperately need it, but it’s one of those things where the groups and government are operating with half-measures despite the strongest scientific recommendations. Sorry, I did not intend to lecture a patient on the state of the country. That’s a foible of mine when it comes to something I feel strongly about. In your case, Esther, yes, you caught something on your trip. I have to say ‘something’, because we could not diagnose a known disease from your symptoms and blood work, which means you’re a bit of a medical pioneer by contracting a new viral cocktail.”
“Sounds exotic.”
“More exotic than we’d like to encounter these days. We could, however, treat your symptoms to get you out of the woods. When you arrived, you had a dangerously high fever paired with intermittent spasms that approached full-blown seizures, and brain swelling. Your heart rate was tachycardic, meaning your heart was beating too fast. Dehydration was setting in from how hard your organs were working to restore balance and the amount of perspiration. It was like you had just stepped out of the pool fully clothed. And on top of all that, your body stopped responding to stimuli. Your eyes did not respond to light nor did any of the reflex action in your arms and legs trigger when tested.”
“So how close was I?”
“Close?”
“To dying?”
“That’s not really something I want to focus on. It didn’t happen, so we shouldn’t dwell on it.”
“Please, Meredith. I feel different, and if I was close, this experience could’ve changed me.”
“Nearly everyone feels different after waking up from a coma, and you’ll probably continue feeling that way until you get home and back into a recognizable routine.”
“Please.”
“…If any of your organs had shut down, I would’ve advised your family to make plans. As it was, I was still gravely concerned, but we had plenty of options to explore to keep you here.”
“Thank you, for sharing and for getting me through this.”
Meredith smiled, “Now, enough about that terrible moment from your past. Let’s talk about how we’re going to get you home.”
Doctor Reinhold shared the plan for a measured approach to ensuring Esther could manage a normal life outside the hospital. This included making sure Esther could eat normal, solid food and that her bodily functions would sustain without any support or monitoring. There would be diagnostic and blood tests to determine if any effects from the virus lingered. Esther would undergo physical therapy to rebuild strength and coordination after her body was idle for so long. It would be a long road before Esther could go home, but she was sustained by the thought that she would get to go home at some point.
Doctor Reinhold wrapped up everything she wanted to discuss and gathered her papers and Esther’s chart to leave.
“Holly should be back in shortly. I’ve already reviewed this plan with her, so she’ll get the wheels moving for you.”
Meredith looked over at Esther and caught a perplexed look on her face. Just as Meredith was about to ask if anything was wrong, Holly walked in. Meredith looked back at Esther and the confusion was replaced by a smile.
“Okay, Esther, I’ll leave you and Holly to it. Anything else I can do or answer for you right now?”
Esther shook her head, “No, and forgive me for being on repeat, but thank you.”
“Again, no thanks are necessary. And oh, it was a pleasure getting to have a positive conversation with your parents and fiancé. I’m glad they were able to be here when you woke up.”
When Meredith spoke, her internal alarm rose as Esther’s face went expressionless, and the confusion returned.
“Esther, is something wrong?”
Holly stopped what she was doing and looked over at Esther, sharing Meredith’s concern for the change in Esther’s demeanor.
Esther shook her head and passed her gaze back and forth between Doctor Reinhold and Holly, “What? My parents weren’t here. It’s only been you two. I don’t know the last time I saw my parents it’s been so long. And fiancé, you must have me confused with someone. I’m not engaged. I don’t even have a boyfriend.”
Meredith was unsure how to respond. She could not tell if Esther suddenly found a weird sense of humor or if there was a degree of amnesia at play. Meredith looked over at Holly who at first gave a laugh but then realized Esther may not be joking.
Meredith gently pushed Esther, “That nice man and woman and handsome younger man that were here earlier, aren’t those your parents and fiancé?”
With slightly more agitation, Esther responded, “No, and I don’t know what you’re talking about. Nobody’s been here.” There was no joking in Esther’s emphatic, annoyed tone.
Meredith gave a slight nod to acknowledge Esther then motioned for Holly to join her.
“Holly, would you please contact Doctor Pershing’s office and see if he can come over here. Let them know he can plan to do a full work-up.”
“What are you thinking?”
“I think it’s apparent something is off. Just give her a parting smile and I’ll come up with a reason why you’re leaving.”
Holly did as instructed and gave Esther another of her bright smiles before darting from the room.
“I asked Holly to go double-check some test results for me. I want to make sure I’m not forgetting anything before I leave you for the day.”
Esther’s confused expression intensified, “Who?”
Meredith did not expect this. Holly stepped out of the room only fifteen seconds earlier.
“Holly, your nurse who was just here. She’s just checking something for me real quick and then she’ll be back.”
“The nurse hasn’t been here. I’m sorry, what’s going on?”
Meredith began to wonder if she was imagining things. She wanted to challenge Esther but worried too direct of questioning would only lead to confrontation. Still, the past several minutes’ sequence of events was borderline surreal.
“Esther, you don’t remember your nurse, Holly, whose been by your side nearly the entire time you’ve been awake?”
“Doctor, I don’t find this funny or appreciate the joke if you’re trying to have a laugh. I’m still a little groggy, but I think I’d remember. There’s been no nurse, which yeah, I find kinda weird in a hospital, but you’re the expert.”
Holly came back in the room and whispered to Meredith, “Doctor Pershing is seeing patients but can come over in two hours. What do you want to do in the meantime?”
Meredith responded, “I was hoping he’d be able to be here earlier, but we’ll work with it. I don’t think she should be left alone. It’s almost like a switch flipped and turned off her short-term memory. After you stepped out, she had no recollection of you being in here at any point.”
“Holly, are we going to talk food? I’m starving.”
Holly and Meredith whipped around at Esther’s comment.
Meredith honestly thought she was imagining the events at this point. “I’m sorry, Esther, what did you say?”
“Holly, you said we’d look at getting me something to eat. That would be amazing, because I feel like I’m starving!” There was a degree of vigor that returned to Esther’s face. She appeared as lucid as ever, like life and energy just returned to pull her from the depths.
Holly stammered out a response, “Ah, yes! Yes, Esther, let’s get you something to eat that doesn’t go through a tube.”
Meredith had a sudden thought.
“Holly, I’m going to stay here to keep Esther company. My other patients have already been tended to, so I find myself with an opportunity for a break.”
Unsure how to take the doctor’s comment, Holly carried a puzzled face out of the room, “Okay. Esther, I’ll be back soon with your food.”
Meredith took a deep breath and looked over at Esther, who was already staring at the doctor. There was something missing from Esther’s gaze, like the usual brightness was now glazed over. It created an awkward moment where Meredith wanted to observe and was not quite sure what to say, something that seldom happened to her.
“I hope it’s okay that I hang here for a little bit. I rarely get to spend quality time with my patients since they’re busy with tests or rehab. You don’t need to entertain me though. Feel free to close your eyes or just rest, then Holly will be back here before you know it.”
“Who?”
Was it really happening again? “Holly, with your food.”
“Oh, I’ll be happy to meet her when she gets here. My savior! I’m so hungry.”
Meredith had a thought, or maybe it was no more than an unbelievable suspicion, in regards to Esther’s behavior. Memory loss was not unique in brain trauma cases. Meredith saw changes to memory, motor ability, and personality in many of her patients. Even after a decade treating a myriad of cases, she still held her breath when a patient came to after surgery or, as in Esther’s case, a coma, because Meredith never knew if the world was going to be a different place for that person. Sometimes, the results were heartbreaking, but for Meredith, they were positive just enough to maintain her faith in science and the body’s incredible ability to rebound. What simultaneously amazed and terrified Meredith the most, however, was the possibility of discovering something new, something that neither science nor she could understand and explain. The hair on the back of Meredith’s neck rose as she realized that fear is the suspicion poking at her thoughts.
Holly gave a rap on the door and burst in with a food tray that had a beefy aroma emanating from it, “Soup’s on! I hope you like Salisbury steak, because it was either that or goulash, and I can tell you know you don’t want the goulash here. Got some cottage cheese and Jello too, everything you need for a proper welcome back to the world!”
Meredith’s attention never left Esther. She watched as the blankness fell from Esther’s face to be replaced by the lively happiness that had been there previously.
“Holly, thank goodness! I thought I was going to have to start gnawing on my arm!”
Without missing a beat, Holly responded, “Oh, dear, we can’t have that! They don’t do amputations on this floor.”
There was laughter. The mood was as lighthearted and infused with anticipation for what the next day would bring. There was recognition. Esther immediately knew Holly and understood where Holly had gone and why she returned. As much as Meredith did not want to upend the positivity filling the room, she needed to understand.
“You know, Esther, I’ve found one of the best medicines to assist recovery is a diet you enjoy. If you give me a list, when your parents come back to visit, I can make an allowance for them to bring in some of your favorite dishes.”
The change was abrupt. Esther froze with a forkful of Salisbury steak just inches from her mouth. The smile stretching broadly from cheek to cheek disappeared, and the glazed look of incomprehension settled in once again. It is not the result Meredith wanted to see, but it is what she expected. Holly also noticed the change.
“Is something wrong, Esther? Wouldn’t you like that? I think having anything other than hospital food would be enough to celebrate.”
Esther put down her fork and turned her blank, forlorn stare to the room’s window, remaining silent. Holly looked to Meredith for guidance and scurried to the doctor’s side when she was motioned over.
In a hushed voice, Meredith spoke, “I’m going to float a concept past you and need you to hear me out before you judge.”
Holly nodded.
“We obviously know Esther’s brain came under duress during her illness. I believe she is suffering a unique effect from that trauma. Her memory is being accessed by visual logging. Memories and experiences are still being written to short and likely long-term memory, but she cannot access them unless the subject of the memory is visually present. Without the visual cue, any memory, old or new, is locked behind a wall in her brain. When you left the room, she had no idea who you were or that you even existed, but when you returned, it was as though the lapse never occurred. At this moment, I believe she has no recollection of her family or potentially ever having a family.”
Holly’s expressions changed as her thoughts raced through the implications and possibilities of what the doctor was saying. “Are you saying that if she’s not actively seeing someone or something, she has zero awareness of it?”
Meredith nodded as she said, “Literally out of sight, out of mind.”
Holly and Meredith ended their conversation to let the weight of this potential revelation settle and looked back at Esther as she quietly sat in her hospital bed, staring blankly out the window.
First, there was Esther. Then, Holly forgot about her patients, Doctor Reinhold, and her family. Esther’s parents and fiancé were admitted soon after, entirely unaware of the world outside their rooms. The alarm in the medical community had already sounded when Meredith collapsed in the hallway between checking on patients, succumbing to the illness she spent the prior weeks intensively researching and documenting with colleagues. Meredith identified too late that the virus was communicable, and she balked at pursuing treatment when initial symptoms presented. Eventually, Meredith never recognized when she uncovered something new about the disease only to forget its existence after leaving her office. On the cusp of a breakthrough, the opportunity was lost to the janitor’s overzealous clearing of Meredith’s office once it was evident she would not return.
The disease’s knowns were few but enough to slow, but not halt, its spread. Simply, the virus was a new strain of influenza. It started like any other case of the flu with extreme fatigue and general misery from head to toe. Brain swelling quickly followed, and if left untreated, the individual would die. With treatment, however, the swelling could be curbed, but the person’s cerebral makeup and chemistry was altered, which directly led to the loss of memory without an active visual trigger. While patients could adapt their lifestyles to find a basic level of functioning by carrying pictures and notes at all times, their ability to live independently in the world disappeared. If and when patients encountered a memory gap, they entered a lethargic state. While responsive, they acted as though they no longer had the will to live.
After a year in the hospital, and oblivious to the death of her father, Esther was wheeled to the front door of the hospital and helped by her aunt into a waiting car. They drove in silence for the hour to Esther’s family home, arriving just as the landscapers finished making it presentable after months of neglect. Esther’s aunt, Maisel, stayed seated behind the wheel, the burden of her new responsibilities pressing down once again. Esther was essentially the only family she had left. Maisel could not stand visiting her sister in the hospital, knowing the moments of lucidity created by her visits immediately degraded into lonely emptiness upon departure. While Maisel did not blame Esther for the family’s misfortune, her presence was a constant reminder of something else that made the world a difficult place to thrive.
Esther absent-mindedly twirled the locket hanging from her neck as she watched her aunt wrestle with heavy thoughts. The pendant contained a picture of her aunt to ensure Esther always remembered her remaining family and caretaker. Unbeknownst to Esther, Maisel consulted with a psychiatrist prior to Esther’s release from the hospital, and they determined it was best for Esther’s mental state at this point to remove as many references of her parents and fiancé as possible. Their presence only created confusion and forced Esther through a constant string of mental peaks and valleys that greatly taxed her body overall, hence how Maisel ended up in the locket. As far as Esther knew, Maisel was forever the only family Esther needed to care about. Ignorance was truly bliss.
“Everything okay, auntie?”
Maisel panicked and worried she had shown too much emotion. She faced Esther and smiled, “Yes, absolutely. I was trying to remember if I missed trash day. How about we go in and get you settled. I think we could both use a nice nap.”
Esther accepted this explanation and happily exited the vehicle and gathered her bag from the rear seat. After a flurry of unpacking and a soothing cup of hot chocolate, Esther pulled the blankets on her bed up tight to her chin and quickly fell into weightless slumber. Maisel plopped onto the living room couch and wrapped herself in a quilt. Despite the concerning thoughts plodding through her mind, she gave into exhaustion and entered a dreamless sleep.
Because the Forget Me Not virus was a mutated influenza strain, medical professionals treated it like the flu, save for the special care given for brain swelling. This included accounting for a contagious period capped at three weeks. All professionals believed that when a patient emerged from their coma, the virus remained only in its aftereffects. Infection control protocols were lifted at that time, and patients were treated as normal. Dr. Reinhold discovered the virus remained active far longer than other influenza strains, perhaps in perpetuity, but her memory failed before the finding could be documented or shared. Others would discover this fact several months later, but by then the virus had propagated and exploded into the world. Researchers, however, continued laboring, trying to uncover any additional unknowns that posed further risk or perhaps provided a direction to combat the virus’s impact. Their efforts were a race against the virus’s spread and their own mind’s fragility.
Each day, the world inherited new ghosts, those forgotten by friends and family. The effort of trying to remain in someone’s life was more than most discovered they were willing to do. Their contributions morphed into setting up an afflicted individual with photos around the home and little notes posted from room to room. Then, they left, convinced all that could be done had been done and now more concerned with taking care of themselves and living a life free from the burden of concern for others. Before long, these same individuals felt the fever as their minds stumbled into oblivion. Within weeks, they too would be set up with photos and notes by a friend or relative, and then they would be alone with no idea how they fit in the world. The cycle was greedy and persistent, and with little obstruction, it became the norm.
Maisel awoke with a start. She crossed the threshold of unconscious realization of excess sleep. The house was dark as the sounds of night chirped and buzzed outside, competing with the methodical clicks of the grandfather clock in the living room. Maisel struggled to bring her vision to focus and collect her bearings. This house was still unfamiliar to her, and the shadows were not where Maisel expected. She slowly brought her legs over the couch’s side as she sat up, still pushing back the dense fog of sleep. With resigned effort, Maisel stood up and shuffled to the kitchen.
The overhead light assaulted Maisel’s eyes with oppressive light as she flipped the switch and continued her shuffle over to the stove. Maisel checked there was enough water in the kettle and ignited the gas burner. Then, she reached into the cabinet above the stove and pulled out two large mugs and a tea tin. Setting those aside, Maisel listened to the kettle tick as the water began to stir, and the hum of the burner sent a hot flush out and around from underneath the kettle. The heat made Maisel realize she was quite chilled, and then she worried that Esther would likely be just as cold and needed another blanket. So, Maisel turned the burner down slightly and headed upstairs feeling slightly more awake but still awfully foggy.
Upstairs was quieter and felt unnaturally still. Maisel enjoyed the hallway carpet’s plushness as her stockinged feet carried her to Esther’s room. She stopped at Esther’s door and softly leaned her head against it so her ear rested flush against the wood. Hearing nothing on the other side, Maisel forewent a knock and slowly turned the doorknob before gently pushing open the door. Maisel peeked inside and jumped, bumping against the door and undermining her stealthy efforts. Esther sat upright in bed, eyes wide open but unmoving.
Maisel felt her heart racing as she looked into the dark room. It was an eerie sight seeing Esther’s face dully illuminated by the small nightlight in the room’s opposite corner. Esther’s blank expression seemed more unnatural in the lighting.
“Esther, is everything okay?”
Esther did not immediately face Maisel and instead shouted into the darkness, “Who’s there?! I can’t see you! Stay back!”
Maisel was confused why Esther was so alarmed and defensive, but then Maisel remembered how groggy she had been upon waking up. She flipped on the overhead bedroom light that bathed the room in a clear but softer hue than the kitchen.
“Esther, it’s me, your aunt Maisel.”
“What? Who? I’m sorry. I don’t know you.”
“No, honey, just look at me.”
“I’m scared. I need help. Can you help? What’s your name again?”
“Maisel, sweetie. I’m your aunt Maisel. And don’t worry, just look at me.”
Maisel did not know why she felt scared, but she was getting frustrated that Esther would not simply turn her head. She crossed the four steps over to the bed and laid a hand on Esther’s shoulder. Esther’s head snapped toward Maisel’s direction. That is when Maisel felt the fear take full control. Esther now squarely faced Maisel, and while Maisel stared with a combination of shock and terror into Esther’s eyes, they did not stare back. Esther’s eyes had gone completely white with a slight gray coloration in place of the iris.
“Esther, your eyes! What happened?”
The fatigue of a memory gap usurped Esther’s demeanor. She immediately calmed down and Esther’s head sank to her chest as she began rocking back and forth. Nothing could spur recognition or recollection now. Esther simply repeated over and over, “I can’t see. I can’t see. I can’t see. I can’t see.”
HobbyScope 