What if I told you that speaking quantity did not necessarily equal speaking quality? What if I went to great efforts to convince you that some people like forming complete thoughts before sharing them with the world? What if I swore that some people need to be prompted to offer valuable input? You would probably say, “Well obviously. This post already has no redeeming value or provides me with a new thought.” Okay, while I couldn’t argue your statement is completely incorrect, what if I planted the fascinating seed in your mind that our interactions with others are incredible collages comprised of thousands of variables stemming from our individual personality styles? We should be talking about this in greater detail, and I’d love to hear your thoughts.

While no expert on the subject, I believe personality styles are innate and adaptive. Humans are born with a personality that ends up governing interpersonal interactions, decisions, drive, all the things that end up shaping the experiences in one’s life. Now, those individuals who live and die by their innate personality are, for better or worse, genuine. When interacting with these individuals, you know where you stand and can trust their reaction is legitimate. The “better or worse” is important because these individuals can have really good things happen to them with a steady personality; they can also fall prey to those who know how to pull the strings on other personality types while situationally adapting their own (I call this politicking even if that’s not the correct term) or really deliver unexpected responses in certain situations.

These observations are strictly that, observations. The best personality petri dish I encounter is the professional office. Identifying someone’s Myers-Briggs personality type is used as an ice-breaker for newly hired employees to be welcomed into my department. Most employees proudly display their personality type along with a short summary at their desks. I am an INFJ which, according to the internet, is one of the rarest personality types. While I am extremely passionate and loyal, I am also contemplatively quiet. In an office setting, therefore, I often get railroaded by more driving personalities. I know this and often try to adapt my style which leads to hastily formed thoughts and some awkward moments. No, I am not a graceful social swan, but I can handle my business. What really gets me is, despite having everyone’s personality type visibly posted, little consideration is actually given to different styles. Bulldozers are going to bulldoze and quiet types are going to be quiet while manipulators are going to do their thing. It’s the personality of circle of life in any professional, group, or collaborative setting.

Humans are a menagerie of variables shaped by life experiences, subconscious tendencies, and heck, I’ll even say diet (maybe?). It requires a lot of mental computing horsepower to cycle through the possible outcomes of interacting with another person and choose the best course of action with 100% accuracy, so I understand that always accommodating someone else’s personality style is going to be challenging. And if that other person is trying to accommodate your default style while you are simultaneously adjusting to interact with their default, then you have quite the do-si-do. It’s almost like a personality inception. Overall, humans are complicated to interact with. Some people have a knack. For others, the skill is a perpetual work-in-progress. I would love everyone with whom I interact to fully understand my personality and just get me. I don’t believe, however, my personality style allows me to be naive.