Good morning! I hope the world is being good to you and you’re being good to it.

Grab your coffee or beverage of choice and share a thought with me!

Shout out to all the dads of past, present, and future who get hit with the “Assembly Required” message on a toy or anything else. I just spent roughly two hours assembling a Little Tikes coupe for my daughter. It’s just heavy duty molded plastic, but I’m still there sweating over instructions and swinging a heavy rubber mallet like I’m knocking in railroad spikes. Sure, she’ll love it and her smile will more than repay all the effort, but dang, this Flintstone-mobile is, at most, only puttering around the yard; the thing is constructed for off-road use. Is this where all fatherhood and marriage leads: an un-handyman forced into handyman situations?

If the situation involves your electronics like setting up a home theater, home networking, or explaining refresh rates and display panel types, I’m your guy. If we start looking at projects that are typically callous-inducing, it’s a roll of the dice. So okay, putting together the toy for my daughter was not that difficult, but I don’t remember the Little Tikes coupe being this robust. The more complex something like that is, the more likely it is holes won’t align or the instructions won’t be clear enough; both happened during this project, though the directions bit was my fault. Still, certain pieces didn’t align properly to snap together with the same level of carefree whimsy I was getting from the instructions, hence my need for a rubber mallet and some strategically applied force. Then, to really test my dexterity and patience, there had to be at least twenty decals of various sizes that needed to be precisely placed, which is a stressful three-part process.

First, the decal needs to be removed from the backing sheet. These decals did not separate easily, so once I started pulling, the tear risk was high but avoided. Second, if I don’t get the decal’s alignment on the coupe correct, not only will I forever look upon it as a failure, but my wife could think less of me and my daughter may grow up disappointed with her decal disaster of a father. I’d say I achieved 95% accuracy, enough to keep my job. Third, the decals were fairly large and oddly shaped, making them susceptible to air bubbles. If I did not minimize the number of bubbles, well, I’d be looking at similar consequences to poor alignment. I’ll be honest, this one got the better of me, but the council is still determining whether I’ll forever wear the shame.

I foresee a lot of toys to assemble in my future, and each one leaves me with more appreciation for my father and all the assembly he did during my childhood. It’s a thankless job, but it’s an important one to ensure the survival of play and imagination. If you have children and are their primary assembler, stay strong during that next birthday or gift-giving holiday. Your efforts won’t go down in the history books, but they are what allow the moments of history to happen.