Good morning! I hope the world is being good to you and you’re being good to it.

Grab your coffee or beverage of choice and share a thought with me!

It feels like more of my recent coffee topics focus on my kids and the current experience of surviving the parenting lifestyle. While that has never been my intent, what the kids are putting me through (or maybe it’s mutual) certainly seems to be coming rapid fire right now. To be clear, I’m not complaining, and this is all in fun reflection. Still, HOLY MOTHER there are some things that could drive me to drinking. Traveling with a toddler is now at the top of that list.

If you have a toddler and envision taking a trip with them, just don’t. If you have toddler traveled and disagree, congratulations, but please keep that good fortune to yourself. Our wee one is well-behaved at, I’d say, an 80 to 90 percent rate. They are prone to moments of independence that occur without warning and do not subside quietly. Additionally, they are a fickle sleeper. At home, this is all easily managed with routine and distractions. On the road, however, we lose the tools and familiarity.

The easiest part of traveling is the travel itself, at least when said travel occurs on the road in three-hour segments. This can be aligned to nap time, which equals peace. Everything else, however, is a new hassle. Few of these new hassles were unforeseen, per se, but that did not help make a week-long vacation any less exhausting. Meals? Maybe they will eat, maybe they won’t, but a mess is guaranteed. Activities? They must be family-friendly down to stroller accessibility, or else one parent gets to have fun while the other is on toddler entertainment duty. The activity is  stroller friendly? That doesn’t matter if the toddler has no interest in riding; time to build that upper-body strength. Looking to have a lowkey time in public? There is definitely a nuclear-level meltdown in your future; prepare for everyone to stare and judge despite likely going through the same thing at some point in their lives.

Our first day out, we wondered if having the little one spend a week with grandma and grandpa would have been a better option. The grandparents would undoubtedly vote for it, even if by week’s end they are counting down the miles to our return same as us, and we certainly would have more options for our itinerary. Despite the prospect of more flexibility in choosing activities and how we spend time with the older kids, I landed in the middle.

If we are taking a family vacation, we need to have the family. I don’t know how early the toddler’s memories will solidify, but even if they grow up with no memory of this trip, I will, my wife will, our older kids will; and the memories from this trip are shaped because we had everyone along. I saw smiles and frustrations woven into the fabric of that experience, and the overall tapestry is more colorful for it.

All that said, don’t do it. Plan simple and plan close. Memories can be formed without a lengthy roadtrip and a full slate of activities. Those ambitious trips and vacations can wait for when everyone will enjoy them. I’ll treasure what we’ve done but look to limit the headaches in the future. And to think, I originally wanted to go on a multi-state sight-seeing odyssey; we may never have made it home.